Belle de Jour: Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl by Anonymous

This book not only was a sexy read, but also reminded me what I terribly dull blogger I am.

The first thing you should know about me is that I’m a whore.

We all have our guilty pleasures. Showtime’s “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” is one of mine.

Honestly, I was destined to find this show one way or another. I happened upon it whilst in the middle of a breakup, needing nothing more than addictive, trashy TV to watch while scarfing down ice cream to distract me from reality (writing it out makes me feel more pathetically Bridget Jones than I ever wanted to.) Starring Billie Piper (swoon) as Belle, a high-class prostitute working in London, I devoured each episode with reckless abandon.

As you can imagine, finding out it was based off a memoir sent me over the moon. I rented the Kindle edition—because, even if I can shout my love for this series into the abyss of a blog, carrying around a book adorned with stockinged legs was sure to elicit a fair share of unwanted stares—and dug in.

In this blog-turned-memoir, Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl chronicles the daily thoughts of the anonymous call girl, Belle. Each entry varies from her thoughts on sex work, to the various fetishes her clients enjoy, as well as her life after hours as she attempts balancing her work with relationships.

Now, before we can talk about anything else, it needs to be made clear—this is not a memoir of someone who was forced into prostitution. Though there are many, many stories of women who are cornered into the human trafficking business and sex work, this is not the case for Belle at all. At the time of this writing, Belle herself was a college graduate who enjoyed sex, needed steady work to pay off her student debts while looking for a career, and didn’t mind the stigma that came along with the sex work. In many ways, it sets the standard of how prostitution should, ideally, operate.

Literally can’t handle this woman.

“WHAT?!” cry out mothers everywhere. “Prostitution is never okay! It’s immoral! It’s wrong!”

Okay okay, calm down. Like it or not, sex work is a large and thriving business, and isn’t likely to go away anytime soon. I argued about this in circles when the Duke porn star went viral—we shouldn’t be discriminating against or judging sex workers. For many of them, sex work (from porn, prostitution, stripping, and beyond) is their job, and they (usually) make the choice to pursue the job on their own accord. As long as sex workers are consenting to the work they are doing, there isn’t anything wrong with them as workers or as people, no matter what your moral stance.

(That said, we should be more critical of the pornography business at large and the messages it sends, as porn often serves as a gateway for individuals to learn about sexuality and get sex education when they aren’t getting any at school or home. If the only exposure people are getting to sex involves hardcore BDSM, unprotected sex, and extreme fetishes, they’re socialized to believe, “Oh I get it, this is what sex is supposed to be like!” which ultimately only feeds into rape culture and leads to dangerous sexual practices. And while there are plenty of safe ways to approach kinks—well, it’s better to walk before you run, kiddos.)

Ahem, back to the book and how it sets up a model for prostitution. Belle was a member of an escort agency, in which a madame (the high-class name for a pimp) was in charge of all of her scheduling. She would call Belle at least two hours before a client wanted to see her, after first screening the client to make sure they were legitimate (as girls would be asked to report about clients that have been shady for one reason or another—not paying, not respecting the call girls’ wishes, or generally being a prick). Services would be agreed upon before the appointment, and specialty services would be negotiated for a larger fee. Belle would call the agency once she got to the client’s address, and would call again when she was on her way home to report on the client and her safety. The agency also took care of her advertising and promotions, and asked for a portion Belle’s profits in exchange (seeing as Belle wasn’t being taxed on any of this money). Clients were in charge of covering any travel expenses on top of paying the hourly rate.

While on the job, Belle looked at the work as a customer service job. A client would name what they were looking for, she would fulfill the service, and make sure they left the appointment a happier person than when they began. Her hourly rate was massive—a whopping £300 an hour—and she wanted to make sure her clients got their money’s worth. She had the right to turn down any appointments she didn’t want to take, and was able to live comfortably while retaining her own life.

Her outside life included a boyfriend and a slew of close friends who all knew about her profession, as well as job hunting and interviewing. Since this book came out, she has revealed her identity as Dr. Brooke Magnanti, who is now a married research scientist. Her identity, of course, doesn’t matter in the context of her anonymous memoirs—but it did lead to a really fun intriguing interview with Billie Piper.

Just two pals gossiping about prostitution (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Needless to say, I loved every moment of this memoir; it was well-written, witty, and engaging, splitting its time equally between the sexiness of her job and the realities of her day-to-day. Best enjoyed with a glass of wine before bed.

This book was a part of the A to Z Book Club.